Thursday, June 18, 2015

A few thoughts on this pregnancy

I am now 37-1/2 weeks along and I feel it everyday.  This might be my most complaint-filled pregnancy yet.  The past two pregnancies have been so comfortable overall, so now that I have experienced more of the typical pregnancy woes, I am more sympathetic to women who experience this every time.

So how does this pregnancy compare to my others then? Very different. I made a list:

1. Morning sickness.  It lasted the first half of the pregnancy and then some.  Never had it, hope I never do again.

2. Swelling.  I'd show you a picture of my feet, but you might barf, so I'll save you the horror.  I basically walk with little summer sausages instead of feet now.  Not so funny when you don't have shoes that fit anymore.

3. Joint pain. This goes with the swelling.  My fingers also are swollen, so I have not worn any rings for 2 or 3 months now. I didn't know swelling could cause so much pain in all my toes and knuckles.

4. Weight gain.  I've gained about 5 more pounds this pregnancy than my other two.

5. Stretch marks.  It was bound to happen at some point.  They are not too bad, but they are there!

6.  Cravings.  It's mostly under control now, but I went through several periods of wanting breakfast foods only (waffles, fried eggs, butter, butter, bacon, butter), then only southwest style foods (think ranch, cumin/chili, black beans, corn), and then cheeseburgers.  There was also the time I only wanted Quakers Oatmeal Squares cereal too.  Anything healthy? Not unless I wanted to puke.  Only in the last 2 months have I finally eaten a green salad.  Cravings are so strange.... I'm currently eating ice cream cones regularly.

7.  Baby movement.  Each pregnancy I think the baby kicks like crazy, but this time, I won't be surprised if I have twins. I get beat up inside hourly.

8.  Unable to walk sometimes.  Today was rough. Other days have been too.  Walking causes extreme pelvic and low back pain that I cannot manage to find relief for. Don't even suggest assisted lunges or animal yoga poses.  I have tried everything on Google. But by all means, let me know of a miracle move or drug of choice.

9. No left rib pain! This is nice as I had a rib slightly pulled out of place for Ezra and Vivi.  Yet, no amount of pillows provide relief for my hips/pelvis

10. Crowded bladder.  I used to be able to hold my pee for hours, pregnant or not. Now I have to wake up 1-2 times a night. TMI? Whatevs.

I know, I know, someone please call the Wahhhhhhhmbulance.  I feel better having written down my complaints.

I have been practicing my Hypnobabies almost every night for 18 weeks now.  I try not to scare myself by watching birthing videos.  The screaming in the videos haunt me! Especially when the videos are labeled "Gentle Birth with Hypnosis" and the mom is shrieking in pain during transition.  Not my definition of "gentle," thank you very much... Even though I had so much success with Vivienne, I can't help but feel worried as I anticipate labor and delivery again.  My doctor is awesome and so supportive of my birth plan.  I am opting not to have my membranes swept this time around.  Not sure if it even worked the last two times, but I'm just going to not have any kind of intervention done.  My doctor doesn't even believe in vaginal checks since studies have agreed that dilation/effacement aren't reliable indicators of impending labor- evidenced based practice right there, folks. It's true.  I walked around at 4-5 cm with Vivienne and was not in labor until a week later.

So what will this baby be?? I'm becoming more curious as the d-day nears.  For Ezra, I want a brother. For Vivi, I want a sister.  For me, I don't care.  I want a healthy baby and another easy and fast delivery.  Any guesses?  Strangers' favorite guesses are "Ooooohh you look like you're gonna have a boy! Because you know, boys carry more like this and girls are like that." Love the logic.

And for fun, here I am around 31-32 weeks with each baby! Ezra, Viv, #3
If only I did another selfie for the last picture haha.  

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Family and Festivals

I am desperately trying to blog more, but the excuses keep piling up.  I CANNOT wait until July! Carl and I will be done with school and done with unnecessary amounts of busy work.  This week, I have finally reached term in this pregnancy.  It is very exciting to be at 37 weeks! I'm also kind of freaking out too as Carl leaves for Wisconsin tomorrow and won't return until late Friday evening. Crossing my fingers that the universe is on my side and this babe doesn't come until after he returns.

Anyway, enough about now, I have been planning on updating about my parents visit this last April. They came at the end of the month for a very short, but wonderful visit.  I loved having them here and I'm glad my little family has planted roots in the West coast once again. Sure, Oregon isn't California, but hey, someone pumps my gas for me and I don't have to pay sales tax.

The few pictures I took were at the annual Wooden Shoe Tulip Festival. Because half of the tulips were dead as it was near the end of the festival, we all got in for $5! Still fun times :)

the kids thought the cow was the coolest part of the festival 

Stop and smell the... tulips

goober dipping and kissing a tulip

yes, my dad carries around an iPad and takes pictures with it because he's that cool! <3 i="">

sometimes they are just so awesome at posing for pictures- perks to having overly confident kids!

Viv aka "Muscles" Leder.  She toted Ezra around in that cart for quite the distance!

my beautiful babies!

I loved the visit and can't wait to see my parents again!

Saturday, May 9, 2015

A full heart

As I've pondered on the celebration of mothers coming up, I've been filled with feelings of gratitude.  How did I get so lucky?  and why the heck do I feel so frustrated some days?? It's true, I'm human. I get annoyed with the day to day routine sometimes and there are days when I feel the burden of parenthood more than anything else.  But as I woke up to Vivienne tickling my toes this morning, I felt a peaceful feeling- one which I've had often and wish I could never forget- of being grateful for being a mother.
Last weekend at the Wooden Shoe Tulip Festival
This gratitude really begins when I think of my own mother.  She is so amazing.  I know I tested her patience growing up from throwing tantrums as a child to bleaching my hair blonde without asking for permission (I looked terrible, by the way).  But as I look back, I can't remember a time when my mother was so upset with me that she told me something to hurt my feelings or to shame me.  She was just always there to support me. I am grateful for the life lessons she has taught me, her willingness to give her children everything that was possible and to make sure we had rich experiences growing up. I am grateful for her strength during trials and to see the positive attitude she has each and everyday.  Her motto has always been to not be downtrodden about things out of our control.  If we can't do anything about it, then it's time to move on and keep working.  I love her stories about growing up in Myanmar and to hear about her industrious family, working so hard to get to the states and to start a new life in the US.  She inspires me day to day to be a better mom and to work hard to give my everything to my own children.
Christmas 2014
I also think about my sweet mother in law, who raised five kids and taught them all valuable lessons day to day. I am grateful for the lessons she taught Carl through growing a garden, canning fruits and vegetables, and even sewing.  She taught him to be kind and to be a gentleman, to serve others in whatever way he could.  He has treated me like a queen since I've known him and makes me feel like the most drop dead gorgeous person that ever existed. I am grateful for the friendship my mother in law and I have. I love to sit and chat with her and I love how giving she is of her time.  She has shown me that motherhood can strengthen a woman and that it can extend beyond being a parent- mothers can be the best of friends too.  All her children are such good people with good hearts full of kindness and love.  They definitely learned this not only from being threatened to be knocked in the head with a 2x4 (haha!), but by example.

I got married when I was 19, which I realize is incredibly young, but it has been the best decision I've ever made.  Carl has been an inspiring person to spend night and day with and has helped me to become the mother I really wanted to be so very much. We decided to grow our family a few years later and I have found now that that decision was also a choice to grow myself.  I am a changed person because of my children.  I am grateful for the lessons they teach me in looking for the joy in the simple things like the excitement over an ice cream cone or building a block tower taller than themselves.  I wish I could bottle up that pure joy and breathe it in whenever I'm frustrated that I've asked Ezra to put his shoes on for the umpteenth time or when Vivienne decides that coloring her hand and the couch with a sharpie is a good idea.  It helps to take time and ponder the joyful things though and I will be making more of a conscious effort to remember these things.  May we all have more gratitude in our hearts for the people who have made us mothers. Happy Mother's Day!

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Back Better Than Ever!

christmas 2014

After having a nice texting chat with my sister-in-law a few weeks ago, I decided that it was time to jump back into blogging.  Sure, I've been busy, but it's not like I'm trying to make a career out of this! I blog for enjoyment and to keep those who are interested in my life- namely a few friends and family- up to date on the happenings of our life.  Also, it's a great record keeper- I'm basically writing my family bible. Ha. But really, I used to be into journaling so that I wouldn't "forget a moment" and that fizzled out once I got married. Whoops. A lot of precious moments forgotten I guess.

What the heck are we all up to now? Well, we are still in Oregon! Yay.  I love it here.  I miss my dear friends and ward in Wisconsin, but Oregon is wonderful in every way- close to the mountains, ocean, beautiful weather, and best of all- close to family.  I never thought we would be homebodies, but it has been a blessing to be close to both our families for once.  We live with my in-laws (how much closer can we get?? hahaha) and Carl's siblings are all within an hour's drive.  There are aunts, uncles, and cousins every which way we look because something about this Leder family keeps everyone in the same area, many in the same town, for generations.  My parents, sister, and brother-in-law, are only a mere 9-1/2 hour drive down south- only a 1-1/2 HOUR plane ride! It has also been wonderful for our kids to be so close to their cousins.  I love seeing Ezra and my nephew play and use their imaginations together. 

Makes you think National Geographic cover, right??
Little miss Vivienne just turned 3! Full of sass, attitude, and an unbelievable talent to be so adorable all at once- we sure are glad to have Vivi in our family! I can hardly believe that she's 3 already... and that I have a third baby on the way! Eek!
Vivienne's favorite..

  • color is purple
  • food is cucumbers and pickles. Oh and goldfish. duh.
  • beverage is chocolate milk
  • activity is playing in water (endless bathtime, sprinklers, the sink...)
  • show/movie are my little ponies and the book of life
  • book is "where's spot?"

She is a master of getting under Ezra's skin and making sure all the attention is on her. She loves to have the spotlight! She is our big talker.  I can hardly remember a time when she wasn't talking now.  She was an early bloomer when it came to talking! We thought she was an early bloomer when it came to using the potty, since she started wearing undies at around 18-20 months, but that has been a 1+ year process.  I guess some parents claim their children are potty trained when they use the potty 50% of the time, but until my kids are 100% day potty trained, I claim almost potty trained. So, as of one week now, she is 99% day potty trained! I'll take it. Potty training is my least favorite parenting venture.

Ezra is in preschool and a teacher's pet- they all love him! Unfortunately, preschool takes a lot of his time and energy, so come the end of the day, we have noticed a lot more attitude from our little guy. Nonetheless, he is such a good kid! I love this kiddo.  He will be so good with the new baby! I love his imagination and expressions.  This kid is so outgoing and social.  I never have to worry he won't make friends. We decided to "homeschool" him for kindergarten this upcoming year.  I say "homeschool" because I enrolled him in the Oregon Virtual Academy (ORVA) which is through  It is essentially public school brought to your home.  So, I'm not coming up with my own curriculum, but I do have a lot more active role in instruction and support.  We weren't really sure where we would end up after Carl and I graduate, and enrolling him in public school has been up for debate since we started having kids, so I figured, why not just try "in-between homeschooling" and see how he does? The one thing about Ezra's preschool is that I don't feel like he has been challenged enough.  I like the idea of him attending kindergarten for 2-4 hours a day so that we have more time to do activities he really wants to do like gymnastics or going to museums. And if I completely fail at this, at least it was just kindergarten. Ha! Good plan, I know.

my favorite 2014 picture!
Carl is doing great.  I am so proud of this guy. PA school has been crazy hard with long hours, but I'm so glad it's only a 26 month program, ending in July!! Carl has completed clinical rotations in family medicine, cardiology, women's health, internal medicine, and now currently emergency medicine.  I don't know how he does it some days! We have had good years and rough years, but 2015 is beginning to feel a little too good with all sorts of prayers answered.  No complaints here though, we are happy to be out of the mud for a bit!

I can finally see a time in our life where there is a solid plan and no moving to a new state.  I have loved our moving adventures over the last 7 years, seeing our country from coast to coast and getting to know people from all walks of life.  It has been a blessing.  Not many people can say they've lived in 7 states (13 moves? I keep losing count) in 7 years.  But- I am glad to say we are settling down in Oregon.  This is our home now.  Carl received two job offers this week, so we definitely will be staying in the area! That is probably are most exciting news!

I am surviving most days :) 26 is not very old, but something about have two kids and a baby on the way has aged my body. I guess I need to actually try harder to get back into tip-top shape after this baby is born.  This baby is very active and kicks me hard every hour.  The pregnancy has been quite different than my other two, namely the morning sickness for the first 20 weeks.  I am grateful for zofran but grateful to not be dependent on it any more.  I've actually had sciatic pain too- I can now relate to other moms in that matter.  It hurts a LOT.  My abdomen grew very quickly as well, so I have many more stretch marks than before. We are stoked to meet our tie-breaker in July though! Either way, baby girl or boy will be adorable and loved :)

This is my last and final semester as well! I am beyond excited to never go back to school if I don't want to.  I am glad to be finishing my BSN though.  It just needed to be done.  Overall, I'd say the workload hasn't been too horrendous and this semester is my (thankfully) lightest one, with only one class at 3.0 credits.  I took 9 credits in the fall and 7 credits last semester.  There is some busy work, but I'm at a point where I could care less if I get an A anymore. It's funny the things that used to matter don't really mean anything anymore.  I was working to get an A again last semester and was doing well until the last three weeks of the semester when I thought, "what am I trying to prove?" I knew I could do it, but why did I want it? Just to say "Boom! I got straight A's!" ? So I skipped all of my last few busy work assignments and received a beautiful B.  It was the best way to end my semester!

I hope you all are doing well! I look forward to chronicling our life more in upcoming months! We've had a trip to Spain, grandparent visits, and all sorts of fun :)

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Ezra starts (pre)school!

Right around my last post, we had made the decision to move back West to Oregon so that we could be closer to family, hence the 3 month hiatus. I can't promise I'm going to be a regular blogger this year as I have also just started working on my BSN degree again, but I will certainly try to catch up on important details of our life such as Ezra's birthday, moving (including all our stops along the way!), life in Oregon, and Ezra starting school.

Yeah! My boy just started pre-k on the 16th! I'm pretty excited because it is similar to where he was going to go in Wisconsin. I was so excited for him when he got accepted into the Spanish immersion program in Milwaukee and fairly bummed when I didn't think he'd be going to preschool, but then I came across the pre-k here and it's almost exactly the same- dual language, half day, 5 days a week. Ezra has looked forward to starting school for awhile now, but has felt shy right before going into the class and when I pick him up. His teacher says he's been great in class and participates in the lessons and activities, but he tells me "I'm shy right now" when I ask him about school (Katie L., he likes to say "I'm shy, just like Ellie." sometimes too! Cute :). We're just rollin' with it. Overall, he's loving it!

Anyway, he's in afternoon class so the morning before we left, we did a little photoshoot:

School?? say it ain't so, mama!

Will they let this pretty face in school?? please???!
hugging, I promise. NOT choking. hahaha

Mom, what do I do? I just decapitated Princess Jasmine...

Who does this cool dude look like? Pretty even split between Carl and I here.

I used to hate sibling kissy kiss pictures, but Vivi loves to smooch everyone on the lips. 

 And guess what, my first-day-of-school sign is fake. Maybe you could tell, maybe you couldn't.
Ma, why am I holding a picture of grandma case?

Hope to update more as we are getting fairly settled here. Plus we have a horse. What?!


Tuesday, June 17, 2014

zumba zumba yeah

I'll admit that I have always loved old-school rap and good song to dance to, but something about participating in Zumba has intimidated me. It's probably because there's a whole lotta booty shaking and well, to be perfectly honest, I don't have a lot to shake. Nonetheless, I have felt like a superstar three days a week since January this year:

I know I am not alone when it comes to feeling like a star at Zumba- everyone in my class gets into it and smiles through the hour long performance cardio workout. Yes, I know I really actually look like this:

but- it is so much fun. I mean, I have never enjoyed a true cardio workout like this. I finish the class smiling though I have sweat marks on my back, pits, chest, and have a bright rosy face shining in sweat. I guess it's almost empowering- it's ok to totally get into the rhythm while pretending to be Shakira and let loose! As an added bonus, I burn almost 400 calories every class! Fair warning- not all Zumba classes are created equal. My instructor, Galina, is truly the superstar. I think it helps that she was a belly dancer, so her choreography is amazing. Plus she's Bulgarian, which makes her automatically cool.

one of these days I'm going to become a Zumba instructor...

Now get off your bum, join a Zumba class, and shake dat thang like there's no tomorrow!

Well, our life has suddenly become a little crazier in the last few weeks. I don't feel like today is the day to delve into the details, so instead, I will just let you know that the kids are growing up way too fast and Carl is halfway done with PA school- starting clinical rotations this fall! Until next time,


Wednesday, May 21, 2014


Two weeks ago, my day started off lovely. It was a Thursday and Ezra was just starting to feel better and the weather was cheery, so we went on a walk:

See, shorts, romper, outside. Nice. 

We walked back to our apartment where, without any notice, I felt quite ill and feverish. So I spilled my guts, curled up on the couch and pitifully begged Carl to come home from studying his finals to watch the kids who were gorging themselves with chips and endless amounts of movies. For a day it seemed as if my sore throat would be tolerable and that the illness symptoms would be gone within a day or two. Lies, it stayed a week, improving by Monday evening. You see, the children kindly passed on Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease to me. By the way, this sounds way more disgusting and dangerous than it really is, but it's just a virus. A horrible one, but just a virus seen more commonly in children. 

Read here for more info and don't believe the part that says adults may not even get symptoms. Lies again. 

My symptoms included ulcer-like sores in my tonsils and throat, swollen hands and feet accompanied by "polka dots" as Ezra endearingly called them. 

Those hands are now peeling. Awesome. Nonetheless, I'm glad to be able to eat now and to be use my hands again, not to mention not feeling like a leper anymore.

On the bright side, I went to an urgent care on Mother's Day and I got hooked up with good drugs, including one called Magic Mouthwash. Serious. It was indeed magical. 

It's great to be back and healthy again. I'm toying with posting from my phone (not gonna lie, my thumb typing is pretty fast and amazing) more often. The picture qualities won't be as great but I think you will hear about our lives a bit more frequently. Until next time,