Saturday, May 9, 2015

A full heart

As I've pondered on the celebration of mothers coming up, I've been filled with feelings of gratitude.  How did I get so lucky?  and why the heck do I feel so frustrated some days?? It's true, I'm human. I get annoyed with the day to day routine sometimes and there are days when I feel the burden of parenthood more than anything else.  But as I woke up to Vivienne tickling my toes this morning, I felt a peaceful feeling- one which I've had often and wish I could never forget- of being grateful for being a mother.
Last weekend at the Wooden Shoe Tulip Festival
This gratitude really begins when I think of my own mother.  She is so amazing.  I know I tested her patience growing up from throwing tantrums as a child to bleaching my hair blonde without asking for permission (I looked terrible, by the way).  But as I look back, I can't remember a time when my mother was so upset with me that she told me something to hurt my feelings or to shame me.  She was just always there to support me. I am grateful for the life lessons she has taught me, her willingness to give her children everything that was possible and to make sure we had rich experiences growing up. I am grateful for her strength during trials and to see the positive attitude she has each and everyday.  Her motto has always been to not be downtrodden about things out of our control.  If we can't do anything about it, then it's time to move on and keep working.  I love her stories about growing up in Myanmar and to hear about her industrious family, working so hard to get to the states and to start a new life in the US.  She inspires me day to day to be a better mom and to work hard to give my everything to my own children.
Christmas 2014
I also think about my sweet mother in law, who raised five kids and taught them all valuable lessons day to day. I am grateful for the lessons she taught Carl through growing a garden, canning fruits and vegetables, and even sewing.  She taught him to be kind and to be a gentleman, to serve others in whatever way he could.  He has treated me like a queen since I've known him and makes me feel like the most drop dead gorgeous person that ever existed. I am grateful for the friendship my mother in law and I have. I love to sit and chat with her and I love how giving she is of her time.  She has shown me that motherhood can strengthen a woman and that it can extend beyond being a parent- mothers can be the best of friends too.  All her children are such good people with good hearts full of kindness and love.  They definitely learned this not only from being threatened to be knocked in the head with a 2x4 (haha!), but by example.

I got married when I was 19, which I realize is incredibly young, but it has been the best decision I've ever made.  Carl has been an inspiring person to spend night and day with and has helped me to become the mother I really wanted to be so very much. We decided to grow our family a few years later and I have found now that that decision was also a choice to grow myself.  I am a changed person because of my children.  I am grateful for the lessons they teach me in looking for the joy in the simple things like the excitement over an ice cream cone or building a block tower taller than themselves.  I wish I could bottle up that pure joy and breathe it in whenever I'm frustrated that I've asked Ezra to put his shoes on for the umpteenth time or when Vivienne decides that coloring her hand and the couch with a sharpie is a good idea.  It helps to take time and ponder the joyful things though and I will be making more of a conscious effort to remember these things.  May we all have more gratitude in our hearts for the people who have made us mothers. Happy Mother's Day!

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